Sorry to hear about your Dad.
Thinking of you. x

Thanks everyone.

Maria x

I think it's finally hit me. Although I've cried a lot, physically I've been ok up to now but I got up this mornnig and felt absolutely wiped out so I'm having a restful day off work.

I got very upset about the funeral arrangements last night. It's difficult as I live so far away, and I respect the fact that as the eldest, my brother has been makng the arrangements on behalf of mum, who can't do it herself. Dad was Catholic, but not practising. We agreed that there should be a service at the church, although not a full requiem mass (even though I would have liked it, I was happy to respect the wishes of everyone else as I'm the only practising Catholic in the family). I did express my wish to read a passage from the Bible and be involved in the planning of the content of the service, choice of music etc. I spoke to my brother about it last night to be told that his daughter has chosen the hymns and she is going to speak. I don't have any objection to that- after all, she's family and was very fond of her granddad. And maybe she was just trying to be helpful. But I just feel so hurt that things seem to have been decided and I have not been involved in the discussions. Neither has my younger brother.It's not an easy job for anyone to do. But I keep thinking back to my in laws' funerals- as we lived the nearest, we did a lot of the organisation, but ensured that all my husband's brothers were fully involved and consulted at every point.
Unfortunately it's not the first time we've had diffculties with my brother's family at key family events.

Maybe I'm over reacting and the grief is kicking in. Or I'm being selfish. I don't want to make a fuss out of respect for Dad, and the last thing I want is any conflict at such a sensitive time, when emotions are running high. I think I'll just keep quiet and try not to let it get to me.

Sorry to rant about my troubles- I needed to get it off my chest.

Love to you all

Maria x

Hi
it was the same when my dad died
we had my middle sister taking over things and not involving the rest of us
what I did was talk to my sister telling her he was our dad too and we need to have an input
it was then my sister realised what she was doing
why dont you just talk to your brother I bet he dosent realise he is taking over every-thing
and no you are not being selfish
take care
Mary L

Mary is right Maria. Just say it in a non confrontational way. You can also say a few words. It is your dad and that is your opportunity to say how you feel in your own way.

Thinking of you, Eleanor x